Transformation

We've all heard about those people who wake up one morning and realize that the lives that they have been living no longer feel authentic or organic to them. So, they start taking radical steps to create the lives they have always wanted. We've all heard that old lovely tale, right?

Well, I am one of those people. My name is Kathy.

My story goes something like this.

After a series of losses, including a divorce, the loss of my father and then the loss of my wonderful 18 1/2 year old kitty, I couldn't stop ignoring that voice inside me that kept telling me it was time to step into the flow and stop fighting against it. Or, in simpler terms: it was time to shake shit up.

So, I took the first step in creating this change and found a yoga teacher training that felt right to me and committed to it. I'd always loved yoga and that little voice inside me kept telling me that I was meant to be a teacher. This meant taking several months out of work and opening myself up to an entirely different way of life. I also chose a studio where I didn't know anyone and just, well, jumped. Hell, who am I kidding: I DOVE. And yes, it was scary. And yes, I never felt more alive in my life as I stood there day after day shaking.

Now, a year and a half later, I can tell you shaking shit up? Do it. Be brave. Why you ask? Because as scary as it is (and it's freaking scary and like the greatest high ever all at once) when you start peeling away the layers and going deep you might just find the you that you've always pined for. Yes, that person! I am slowly but surely becoming the me that I kind of really love. I kind of really like her too. She's more courageous than I ever was and her growing fearlessness is pretty awe inspiring. She's the me I yearn to be. No wait: she's the me I am actually becoming...

There are painful repercussions to this transformative process as well. For one, you might find that the friends who you thought you could count on and who would support your quest for a more authentic existence are, well, too stuck in their own ruts to be able to embrace your excitement for this path you're on. Your bliss might just piss them off.

I recently called a friend to tell her about my latest trip to Guatemala, my plan to do retreats and my latest yoga challenge and all she could do was ask me when I was working next. It was then I realized I was doing the very thing that utterly terrified her. I was living outside of the proverbial box and it rattled her to her core. Hell, it even produced some anger. There must be order, right? Things have to make perfect sense, no? NO, they don't! This from the chick who has always needed things to make perfect sense!

Have you ever been traveling and on your quest to find something gotten utterly lost and stumbled upon a place you completely fell in love with and had the most wonderful time in the process? Funny how that works. I now get lost as often as possible. I am finding in getting lost I stumble across the most magical things. I hope I learn to get lost more in love on this path of mine as well. I am looking forward to just letting go and seeing where the journey takes me. I've got some work to do (no more chicken shits on ego trips for a start), but I'm open to the process.

My father spent his entire adult life committed to one path and he loved it. He was one of those rare birds that got paid to do the very thing he loved the most and it really turned him on. He was a scientist until the end. An utterly brilliant one at that. And you know what? He'd be the first person cheering me on right about now. He'd be excited that I am discovering things that light me up from within and make me all shiny and bright. He always did tell me that I was the sparkly type. Do what you love, he'd say.

I love to travel, I love to write and I love to teach. I am trying to find a way to bring them all together.

I'm on my way, pops...

The man from Holland, Manchego and the light

This is my second trip to Antigua and second stay at Casa Cristina. Last trip I met my now dear friend Paula who was also staying in my hotel. This trip I've already made a new friend Aziz, a camera man from Holland, who is staying next to me and studying Spanish here. He's handsome and fun and we have a lot in common. We went out last night and had a late tea and a snack. We walked the nearly empty streets laughing wildly and telling each other stories about our travels. He's a lot of fun. Tonight we're off to dinner and drinks and some quality silly time. I love meeting fellow travelers on my journey's. Good people out there if you allow yourself to let them in.



A special thanks to my girl Leslie for making me this fabulous pic!

I walked the streets for hours yesterday, my first day here, took a nap and then treated myself to my favorite little Tapas place here, Sangre. Fried Manchego cheese with that delish hibiscous dipping sauce and coconut crusted shrimp with a divinely sweet chutney sauce were savored. My waiter treated me to a second glass of wine, a fabulous Tempranillo, and though I only drank a wee bit of it I can tell you it was nothing less than fabulous. Of course he then asked me out, but I have my staple response in these situations now: I'm meeting someone later. Works like a charm! Men can be just too sweet sometimes. Truly...

I still can't speak Spanish and I know I need to get a tutor and get to it already. I'm damn good at improvisation though and often wing my way through by miming what I want. I also make people laugh which is just fine by me. I often lapse into Italian when trying to order food and the occasional French as well. Now if only Spanish would find its way to me!

I haven't been able to upload photos yet but will do later. I'll throw some up when I get a chance. Some of the places offering Wi-Fi have REALLY slow connections.

The light is spectacular here. Last night I watched the clouds move in and the full moon was so clear and vibrant I thought it was a mirage. The light at dusk is so warm and embracing I can't help but smile when I walk the streets. There is magic here. There really is...

Off to another latte and some yogurt, granola and fruit.

Life is so damn good at times, you know?